there’s a good hot mess we can smelt down to component parts and keep trying to reduce; i like getting to the point of liquidity where there’s nothing left to break down, floating gleefully in eternity, memory, the seas I’ve never visited
the algorithm i think is our memories, our longing to return to the home we should have had; so nostalgia is the insatiable feeling to cultivate with hysteria and hunger; there’s so much caffeine and nicotine in my bloodstream, fake drugs that don’t blind
i miss my friends who can’t respond to me; i am soured by my genius and vision and ambition and self-knowledge; i miss you, reading this, who can no longer work with me but know with a smile and laugh to never bet against me
i wonder if it’s worth it; most days it is
i need lovers who understand
four minutes at a time
24 little hours 🌹
on rejection, playing distance game versus ground game in collaborative / romantic-ish relationships with intriguing young women